Toss A Midget Make A Dream Come True

Had an argument yesterday with myself about whether or not midget tossing, or dwarf tossing if you prefer, was cruel or completely awesome. I've decided that its completely awesome, and for the tossee not just the tosser. Perhaps even more so for the tosser... here's why...

When asked about wishes, as in, "If you had 3 wishes what would you wish for?", afetr most people got passed the 100 million dollars or invisibility crap, and you weeded out the douchebags that waste one on world peace, you can be pretty damned sure you'll wind up with a couple that wish for the ability to fly. Now if this is a common dream of men and women then when you toss a midget, you are letting him, temporarily mind you, live out one of our dreams.

Also there are many people out there that are concerned about their weight... everyone wants to lose weight, and with new year's coming up, I'm sure that its at the top of the list of new years resolution most likely to be broken. Now consider this, when the midget is tossed and it is at the height of its arc, for that one crowning moment, he or she (I've never actually seen a girl midget at a tossing event but that would be pretty awesome), is weightless. WEIGHTLESS PEOPLE!!! Hillary Duff eat your heart out... fuck it just eat something!!!

Lastly lets consider the job possibilities for a midget... I mean no more Oompa Loompa gigs since they digitally duplicated that one freakazoid, no Wizard of Oz remake looming on the horizon. Hell I haven't even seen Wee Man from Jackass doing anything lately... so unless you have some like crazy talent or happen to be really smart, you've got to do something to make a living. And lets be honest, what would you rather do for a living; "Would you like fries with that?" or get heaved in a velcro covered suit at a big velcro covered bull's eye and get bought drinks all night?

Man... I know I wish I was shorter...

Later Haters... I know I've had the time of my life... and I owe it ALL to Pat Swayze only strangers call him Patrick