And theDefense Attorney of the Year Award Goes to...

no this guy...

INDEPENDENCE, Mo. (AP) - Prosecutors say a man shoved a cell phone down his girlfriend's throat because he was angry and jealous. But defense attorneys insisted as a trial got underway that the woman swallowed the phone intentionally to keep the defendant from seeing whom she had been calling.

Its either that or moron of the year award goes to this chick for trying to swallow the damn thing... and guys complain that some girls don't swallow, have I got the chick for you.

I'm just glad he wasn't trying to look at her emails on a Blackberry... now that would be uncomfortable... One other point I'd like to look at... what kind of little girly hands does this guy have that he would be able to fit them in her mouth and get to her throat? Did he perhaps use a tool of some sort? Maybe those little grabby things wheelchair bound people and midgets (love the midgets) use to grab things on a high shelf... I'm quite disturbed to report that I will be following the outcome of this trial very closely.

The Wonderful World of Golf

Well there were two monumental golf stories this weekend, and I must admit I am proud to have been a part of them... both of them. Yes I watched the end of the British Open and saw Tiger Woods' tearful celebration on the 18th green... what a sight that was indeed. Pure majesty. The other event? Well that was the beating my girlfriend took in minigolf at the hands of yours truly... Now Tigers 2 shot victory over Chris DiMarco may have been remarkable but I amassed a 12 (yeah I said 12) shot lead over the defending minigolf champion before our 18 holes were done. In your face!!! Well anyway after posting this little tidbit I'll be off to the store to buy apology, I'm an asshole flowers... but even those will not smeel as sweet as victory. Toodles all