Now this one just takes the cake

CHICAGO, Illinois (AP) -- An 18-year-old Chicago man was arrested after allegedly kidnapping two young children to perform a demonic ritual intended to get back his former girlfriend, authorities said.
David Rodriguez was being held on $500,000 bond. Prosecutors said he and a 15-year-old companion snatched the children Friday outside a South Side library and planned to carve a pentagram in the girl's chest.
Rodriguez apparently needed only the girl, so he released her 8-year-old brother, who told people on the street about the kidnapping, Cook County Assistant State's Attorney Tracy Senica said.
Police found the girl unharmed at Rodriguez's home, and they arrested Rodriguez when he returned with candles and incense.
Rodriguez was charged with two counts of aggravated kidnapping, police spokesman John Mirabelli said.
His grandfather, Julian Rodriguez, called the accusations "ridiculous." He said his grandson was a "good kid."

Now everyone knows when you're trying to get back an exgirlfriend your supposed to use the chest hair of an 18 year old virgin... which judging from this guys lack of intelligence and reasoning skills makes me pretty sure he's one and could have just saved himself the trouble and bought a razor. The part I love the best is his Grandpa... good old pop pop... says he's a good kid. Unfortunately what they omit here is that when they interviewed the grandfather he had a pentagram carved into his chest... and he and his wife hilda have never been happier...

Caffeine not just for babies anymore

Oh man... normally I'm one who doesn't sleep caffeine is all I have to keep me going throughout the day. But for some reason last night I slept like a rock but this morning that didn't really register so I come into work this morning and drank my usual two large cups of coffee so now I am just FLYING!!! I have gotten more stuff done today than I have ever gotten done on a Tuesday. That could have a lot to do with how crappy the Monday night game was last night or it could just be how boring my damn secretary is.

Did you ever know one of those people that starts a story and you never really know when the damn thing is over... like there's no puinchline, there's no lesson learned, no moral no nothing. It just kind of ends. Combine that with the inability to say the letter H and you have my life from 9-4:30 everyday.

Exp: "Me and my Aunt went to the 'ardware and we bought a 'ammer because we needed to 'ammer a nail in, and it was $8.99."

That's it, that's the story... thanks for stopping by, I'm gonna close my door now and hang myself from the ceiling tiles... pray they hold me.

The Idiots Have Me Surrounded!!!

And you thought the guy who never stops pressing the elevator button was bad.... I was on the subway this morning and there is this one dude riding the F train and he was trying to pass between cars. Now for those of you who don't ride the F you wouldn't know that the doors between cars are always locked, and on some other subways they are not.

Well Tweedle Dee here obviously has been riding on trains where passing between cars was a normalcy because when he got to the door and found it locked he was astonished... so astonished in fact that he proceeded to attempt to open the obviously locked door 3 times before finally realizing that he couldn't. He reluctantly took his seat... only to get up one more time and try the door handle. This, and this is the best part, causes a homeless guy who smells of piss and booze and isn't wearing shoes, to yell "Its locked stupid" I almost pissed my pants... part because I was laughing and part because I wanted to pay tribute to the homeless man.

Piss and booze, piss and booze you don't need shoes with piss and booze... goodnight everybody!!!

Oh and on a side note to all the mentally incapacitated... that little button that you press to cross the street is just there to amuse you while you wait for the light to change as it is timed to do... pressing it a hundred times doesn't make the light think, "Wow, there sure are a lot of people waiting to cross I better turn Green in a hurry!!"

Another day another weirdo

Well today started off with a bang... here I was just walking to work when I was SAVED!!! That's right saved by the Lord. Or at least that's what the guy in a pope outfit yelled at me and the other thousand people walking out of Penn Station. Who would have thought salvation could be so easy? Repent my sins... the hell with that... I wonder if this guy does parties? I've got one hell of a bash coming up this Saturday and I know that we all could use some saving. Well ta ta for now, as I like to say its all over but the crying.

Well well well....

Looks like I've finally decided to start a blog. Why in the world would I do this, I ask myself... quite simply I'm bored and have wonderful things to say to all of you. so fell free to thank me an get down on your knees at night and right after please protect Grandma and Grandpa, ask for a new post from me.